POLICIES / FAQs

POLICIES
*Orders ship within 10 business days.
*All sales are final. No returns or exchanges.

Please pay attention to the sizing chart in each product description. If you have any questions about sizing, email me before ordering: info [at] thecolacorporation [dot] com. If you realize you've ordered the wrong size or entered the wrong address, let me know immediately. Once a garment goes into production, I can't change sizing and your order will be processed as-is.

FAQs
You're a fake leftist aren't you? J'accuse!
Having spent a couple of years watching the Twitter Left, I will never call myself a leftist. For what it's worth, I believe the following:

  1. All people are entitled to safe housing.
  2. All people are entitled to nutritious food.
  3. All people are entitled to healthcare.
  4. All people are entitled to education.
  5. Fascists are not people.

Wherever that puts me on your spectrum or political compass, that's great. I don't care.

You're just a grifter capitalist pig! Look at you with your little oink oink nose and your little corkscrew tail, you squealing class-traitor fuck!
That's fine. I'm a pretty shitty grifter, though. I started the Cola Corporation in 2019 and I've lost money every year.

How do you sleep at night knowing that you are exploiting the working class?
OK, so I have no employees. I work with two garment factories (one in China, one in the United States) and two print shops (both based in the United States). These businesses have employees whose surplus value is exploited. Insofar as I deal with the exploiters, I'm culpable in the exploitation, I guess.

You don't know shit about economics, do you?
No, not really. If you have specific suggestions for business practices that could better mitigate the exploitation of workers whose labor creates my products, email me at info [at] thecolacorporation [dot] com. I welcome honest discussion.

If you'd like to tell me I'm a grifter capitalist pig rooting my snot-dripping snout in my own filth, that's what twitter is for. I'm at @thecolacorp and I will be happy to ignore you without response.

$85 for a hoodie?! $34 for a tshirt?! Insane!
Yeah, I get that. As noted in the product descriptions, most of those hoodies and tees are made in the U.S. by workers who have matching 401K and full health benefits. The hoodies are conspicuously similar to those sold by a certain New York designer for $170. In the apparel industry, the keystone markup is 100%. My margins are drastically below that. I know this might sound unlikely, but I honestly do my best to make quality stuff that is affordable.

I can make the same hoodie myself with $25 of supplies from Michael's!
Please keep me updated. I cannot wait to see what you come up with.

Are all your clothes made in the United States?
No. Print shops have product specifications for certain print techniques. For instance, my main line of Failed State hoodies is made in the United States. However, the versions of these hoodies with printed interior hoods are made overseas. That's because the overseas hoods are lined with fleece, which are better for printing. The print shop will only use the overseas hoodies for this art treatment.

As a capitalist-pig grifter, I find myself in a conundrum. By keeping my prices relatively low, I am stunting the business growth of Cola. By stunting the business growth of Cola, I inhibit my ability to negotiate with printers and factories, to insist on my manufacturing preferences.

How are your products shipped?
From a production and shipping standpoint, I have three categories of products: print, embroidery, and specialty.

I don't do any in-house embroidery. Embroidered products are made offsite and ship directly to you from the place where they're made.

Most of the tees and hoodies are made in the USA, as noted in the product descriptions. This merch is printed offsite and ships directly to you from the place where they're made.

Specialty products include non-clothing items, as well as garments that I have made in China due to the content of the designs. These items are shipped directly from Cola HQ by me personally.

As Cola grows, I want to move towards a model where all my stuff is produced and shipped locally. But for now, this is where I'm at.

Do you share your proceeds?
Yes. As of June 27, 2022, 10% of everything I make goes to Chicago Community Jail Support. In the past I've done limited-edition benefit tees for CCJS and other organizations, and 10% of sales from my Antifa Soup cans (now discontinued) went to the Chicago Food Depository.